10 instructions I have given to students that went pear shaped!


  1. “Please go and stick this note in your school bag, John.” John picks up his glue stick and the note and walks over to his school bag.
  2. “Woah, this activity is a ‘piece of cake’ for you Sarah!” Sarah asks where her piece of cake is.
  3. “I’ve got eyes in the back of my head, Nathan.” Nathan looks at the back of my head and seems puzzled.
  4. “Just letting you all know that I’m feeling a little under the weather today”. Students look up at the sky.
  5. “Keep your eye on the ball, Will” Will lifts up the ball and places it over his eye.
  6. “There is a chair over there, Sam. Just jump on that one”. Crash! “Ouch!” says Sam.
  7. “Come on my gorgeous chickens”. A couple of students make a “Cluck, Cluck” sound.
  8. “I know that you need to do a wee but can you hold on?” Child grabs my arm and then urinates.
  9. “Now that we are standing in pairs, you need to walk in a straight line.” Students walk off in straight lines but in all different directions.
  10. “You should lean on a book while you are writing on the floor so that you don’t poke holes in the paper.” Student props the book comfortably underneath his elbow and continues to struggle to write on a piece of paper that is directly on the carpet.

Credit to Guilherme Jose Drawings for the graphic.